Becoming more empathetic

People identify empathy as one of the top characteristics they desire in a friend. An empathetic person is able to put themselves in another's shoes and look at things from their perspective. It is important however to recognize there are necessary limits. An effective exercise in empathy allows you to stay within your own reality, and understand another person's feelings without taking them on as your own. You effectively build trust with another person by maintaining control of your own emotions, while interacting with them about their situations. Similarly, you may or may not agree with the emotions a person may be experiencing. You only need to recognize the emotions, you aren't judging their appropriateness.

Here are some suggestions about how to enhance your own skills in empathy:

-Actively listen. Eliminate distractions, use appropriate eye contact, and watch for nonverbal behaviors that hint at underlying emotions. Think about what the person's body language is revealing.

-Provide interactive feedback. Let the person be aware of your listening by demonstrating your own verbal and non-verbal reaction. Use your voice tone and body positioning to convey acceptance- such as your are arms not crossed, your body is facing toward the person speaking, and you hold an attentive posture. Again, eye contact is important. Possible verbal responses such as "I see", "Go on" can be used, as well as occasional paraphrasing or restatement of things the person has said. This can be helpful for clarification and gives the person a chance to expand what has been said.

-Demonstrate patience. Avoid nervous movement such as tapping or glancing at the time. When appropriate, ask open-ended type questions to continue the conversation. Don't jump to conclusions and listen without attempting to form solutions before reaching the end of the conversation, this helps to keep your mindset as objective as possible.

Empathy is an important part of effective communication. Putting these tips into use can go a long way in enhancing an aspect of your own emotional intelligence and strongly indicate your support of others.