Becoming more empathetic

People identify empathy as one of the top characteristics they desire in a friend. An empathetic person is able to put themselves in another's shoes and look at things from their perspective. It is important however to recognize there are necessary limits. An effective exercise in empathy allows you to stay within your own reality, and understand another person's feelings without taking them on as your own. You effectively build trust with another person by maintaining control of your own emotions, while interacting with them about their situations. Similarly, you may or may not agree with the emotions a person may be experiencing. You only need to recognize the emotions, you aren't judging their appropriateness.

Here are some suggestions about how to enhance your own skills in empathy:

-Actively listen. Eliminate distractions, use appropriate eye contact, and watch for nonverbal behaviors that hint at underlying emotions. Think about what the person's body language is revealing.

-Provide interactive feedback. Let the person be aware of your listening by demonstrating your own verbal and non-verbal reaction. Use your voice tone and body positioning to convey acceptance- such as your are arms not crossed, your body is facing toward the person speaking, and you hold an attentive posture. Again, eye contact is important. Possible verbal responses such as "I see", "Go on" can be used, as well as occasional paraphrasing or restatement of things the person has said. This can be helpful for clarification and gives the person a chance to expand what has been said.

-Demonstrate patience. Avoid nervous movement such as tapping or glancing at the time. When appropriate, ask open-ended type questions to continue the conversation. Don't jump to conclusions and listen without attempting to form solutions before reaching the end of the conversation, this helps to keep your mindset as objective as possible.

Empathy is an important part of effective communication. Putting these tips into use can go a long way in enhancing an aspect of your own emotional intelligence and strongly indicate your support of others.

Perfection

Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it. ~Salvador Dali

What have you been holding yourself back from with the fear that your attempt will be less than perfect?

Perhaps the key element to eliminating perfectionism in your life is to alter your self-talk. The thoughts you have when considering any task can make or break your attempt to do whatever it is you are thinking about. Any action you take is directly connected to the thoughts you have.

Replace thoughts of "I can't", "I'll never learn how", "I will never do well at this" with positive thoughts, about attempting or even achieving. "I can do this", "I can learn how, and I recognize that learning how is an important step to anything" and "I will do my best at this and that is good enough, it may even be great"

Follow up this change in thinking by creating a goal with the task you wish to take on. Make it a measurable, realistic goal. Also make a commitment to yourself that you will take the time to sit back and appreciate the work you do to achieve it. Become your own internal cheerleader. Think more about the process, rather than the end result. Appreciate that not everything will go smoothly, but obstacles or mistakes can be seen as an integral part of the learning process, not stumbling blocks.

Concentrate on the good feelings you have from your achievements along the way and those good feelings will build. Share your pride of achievement with others that have a positive outlook and these feelings can grow even bigger.

Re-frame any criticism you receive, as constructive suggestion. Think of it as suggestions to new directions you may take. In addition, see it only as an opportunity to alter your course. Maintain the power to make those choices on your own, not all criticism should be taken to heart and alter your future endeavors.

Don't forget to add your new achievements to your thought bank that gives you the courage to try something new in the future. Enjoy the process, and relish the achievements!